I am sleeping, full of winter flowers, and afraid that spring will never come
but there is a voice, deep in the soil, whispering that some gardens are not here to just be beautiful
they are here to show us how to be brave and how to start again
be that garden
-Jen Brady
As my husband Christopher and I embark on our third year of adoption its so easy for us to say we are not the garden we want to be as we both have been waiting over 15 years for a child. Both of us being on our own individual journeys of potential parenthood before we met 7 years ago.
Mine was my first very unhealthy marriage where I lost my 3 baby girls, Britta, Ella and Grace in my 20’s and 30’s. So so so much personal healing happened before I met my soulmate Christopher and we married when I was 40 and we lost our baby boy, Saylor, very soon after our wedding. Part of our journey then included my hysterectomy which of course was another level of acceptance and healing toward what parenthood would look like for us.
Christopher was in a relationship that included 2 sweet little boys that loved him so much. He also knew he wanted to be a dad but first had to go down a long healing path to let that become a reality. He had thought about being a Big Brother or adopting as a single dad. Then he met me and on our first date we talked about having kids. We married a few years later and were pregnant quickly but lost our baby boy Saylor. Christopher so sweetly and gently approached me about adoption and here we are, about to become parents later this year.
So back up to Jen’s poem, we both had to really listen to our voices from deep within our soils or souls and as she says be brave and start again.
